Bruce Lipton and The Honeymoon Effect, Part Three – An Audio Download and Print Transcript

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Listen to Bruce Lipton talk with Lisa Reagan and take Kindred readers through his foundational work presented in The Biology of Belief and Spontaneous Evolution and onward to his new book, The Honeymoon Effect” The Science of Creating Heaven on Earth in less than an hour! Please download and share:

heartsEditor’s Note: Bruce Lipton’s Kindred teleconference transcript below is broken into three parts and titled by sections to help the reader navigate the amazing amount of information and insights Bruce shares with us:Part 1: Evolution and World Current Events: “Right on Schedule”

  • Crisis Precipitates Evolution: “It is necessary that the world fall apart.”
  • Humanity: The Emerging Superorganism
  • The Honeymoon Effect: When Did You Last Feel It?

Part 2: Creating and Uncreating Your Life = Conscious and Unconscious Mind

  • The Unconscious Mind: Nobody’s Home, “It’s simply a record playback device.”
  • Who Am I?  “In the first seven years people tell you who you are and you record in a state of hypnosis.”

Part 3: The Honeymoon Effect: Operating from the Conscious Mind to Create Heaven on Earth, BELOW

  • The Move The Matrix: “It’s actually a documentary.”
  • You Don’t Know If You Don’t Know: “If I don’t know how something works, how can I be guilty?”
  • Women and Men: Cultural Programming Differences
  • Reprogramming: “Reading self-help books doesn’t work.”
  • Conscious Parenting: “The rule of the day to help us evolve from the mess we’re in.”

Part 3: The Honeymoon Effect: Operating from the Conscious Mind

Honeymoon book cover
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Bruce: So here comes the story of the honeymoon and the loss of the honeymoon.  The conscious mind wishes and desires and aspirations only 5% of the time, but science has found when you fall in love the conscious mind works 90% or more of the time.  It makes simple reason when you fall in love and that person that you want in your life is in front of you, why do you let your mind wander?  As a matter of fact, it doesn’t.  The conscious mind stays present.  Why?  What you want is right here so you keep your conscious mind present during that falling in love phase.  Well what does that mean?  Two people who are operating from their conscious minds, wishes, desires, and aspirations, at the same time are then creating a life that matches wishes, desires, and aspirations.

Your wish is heaven on earth, you manifest heaven on earth.  That’s when the honeymoon is like, “Oh my god, life is so beautiful, life is great, life is wonderful!”  And then I go, “But what happened to the honeymoon?”  As time goes on, you still have to deal with life.  You got to go to work.  You have to do the chores.  You have to fix the car.  You have to pay the rent.  And why is that important?  Because as life’s obligations start coming back in, it diverts the conscious mind into thinking about the things you got to do.  And, the moment your conscious mind starts thinking, you default into the subconscious programs.

Yeah, but those behaviors are primarily from other people.  And this is what leads to the most famous of all problems in a relationship when one of these behaviors from the subconscious program kicks in for the first time into a relationship that’s been operating from wishes, desires, and aspirations, heaven on earth.  And all of a sudden, you play this negative behavior, and your partner looks at you and says, “Who are you?”  And all of a sudden, you realize what’s happening, or you don’t realize what’s happening here is behavior that is not yours from wishes, desires, and what you want is replaced by the default program when your mind is thinking, you play your parent’s behavior, let’s say in this case it’s a negative behavior.

You’ve just played it in the relationship.  You didn’t see what you played.  Your partner did.  Your partner looks at you with surprise like, “Where the hell did that behavior come from?” and then accuses you of not being you.  Well, the first thing that happens if somebody says you’re not you is you get defensive and defense means you put a wall between you and the other person.  That’s what you do to protect yourself.  And, then you say, “What are you talking about?  I wouldn’t do those things that you just said.”  And the answer is, not if you were operating in your conscious mind, you wouldn’t have said or done those things.

But when you’re operating from the automatic, habit programs of the subconscious downloaded from other people then you play their behavior, you have no idea what you did and you just did it.  Let’s say, for example, my partner, Margaret, comes up to me.  We’re having a honeymoon, heaven on earth.  All of a sudden, I’m thinking about some work I have to do. She asks me a loving question.  I turn around and go, “Blah, blah, blah!”  And, she looks at me in total surprise going, “Who are you?  Where did that behavior come from?”

Now put yourself into my position, “What is she talking about?  I have no idea what she’s talking about.  I’m not that kind of person!”  And the fact is what happened, just like Bill, I played my father’s behavior.  I didn’t see it.  I have no idea what she’s talking about.  I am in defense.  She is in a compromise situation for very simple reason that this behavior now becomes introduced into the relationship.  It was never part of the honeymoon.  It is maybe disruptive behavior.  But, she then looks at our life together and says all this first stuff was great.  This behavior is not so good.  But, okay, I’ll compromise.  And, that is the first step to losing the honeymoon: because now you’re accepting behavior that is not really the loving, wonderful honeymoon behavior.

She sees this as part of the relationship because you’re thinking more now about your life and then playing these behaviors more frequently.  And, every time a new behavior shows up that hadn’t been played during the honeymoon, we have to face that situation.  Can you live with this behavior?  If it’s an abusive behavior, all of a sudden, you turn around and you hit somebody and then you yourself are chuckling, “Where the hell did that come from?  I’ll never do that again.”  Not in your conscious mind, but it didn’t come from there, it came from subconscious.  Then maybe that’s not a compromising situation.  That’s when the honeymoon breaks down for good.

So basically it says this, you start creating heaven on earth, you lose heaven on earth when you start taking in the invisible programs in the downloaded subconscious mind and when you start doing this the compromises that result either way affect the relationship until sometimes the relationship just comes to an end.  Two people look at each other and say, “How did something so beautiful go so bad?”  And this is the whole critical point:  95% of our behavior is invisible and when we play it we don’t see it.

The Matrix: “It’s actually a documentary.”

MatrixThere’s a movie called The Matrix and it’s a science fiction movie, supposedly, about how we’ve been programmed and they say take the red pill and get out of the program.  And, what I want to tell people is that The Matrix is not really science fiction; it’s actually a documentary.  We have been programmed.  And the question is if I took the red pill and got out of the program what would my life be like?  And then all of a sudden, I said, ah, go back to the honeymoon.  It was the first time in your life you didn’t play the program and when you didn’t play the program, what did you create?  Heaven on earth.

All of a sudden you realize, it’s the programming that is taken us away from heaven on earth.  It’s the programming.  It’s also the critical assessment of us as children that throws a monkey wrench in our self-love because we’ve been so criticized and the programs in the subconscious are critical reviews of us, we really had trouble loving ourselves.  That throws a monkey wrench in loving other people, loving your children.

And, also think about this, because 95% of your life is coming from your subconscious and your child is watching you with a brain state of hypnosis, it sees the 5% of you that your wishes and desires and aspirations download that.  But it also observes the 95% of you that you don’t see that you got from your family.  And, guess what, in lineages of family, behaviors are passed from parent to child, parent to child unconsciously in the first seven years.  And propagate this in a family, it turns out that our fundamental diseases, cardiovascular disease, cancer, diabetes, alzheimers, almost all these diseases are predominantly the result of the unconscious behaviors that are passed through the family.  Now with an understanding that genes are responsible for about 1% of our illness; 99% is due to lifestyle.

Lisa, I talked longer than 15 minutes.

Lisa:  Oh my gosh, this is wonderful!  You did!  You really did!  I was kidding about summarizing everything.  Okay, there we go.  You did it!  Now, you don’t have to speak again anywhere else, ha.

Bruce:  Well, maybe the questions will clarify something that may have been, that I didn’t say exactly right, or make perfectly clear, or need to review.  I really am open to questions.

Lisa:  Okay.  Well, everyone on the call can *7.  We would love to have your questions.  So please just jump right in and speak right up.  While we’re waiting for everyone to come on, I do have a couple of email questions for you.  But I’ll ask one of the email questions and then we’ll wait for our callers to ask theirs.

Bruce:  Okay.

Lisa:  And, some of these were funny because we talked yesterday and they were a little predictable.  Like they’re lining up.  The men have certain questions and the women have certain questions and they kind of have a resonance that’s very similar.  The women are saying, “How do I get my partner to hear me about this?”  Debra in San Diego, well you know, Debra in San Diego says something different.  She says, “What can I say to people who think it’s cruel to believe that they are creating their own reality?  For example, what do you say to people who have had horrible traumas in their lives?”

You Don’t Know If You Don’t Know: “If I don’t know how something works, how can I be guilty?”

biology of belief
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Bruce:  Yes, that’s a very important question and I would like to deal with that right away because this has a backlog that builds a big story if you don’t get it.  Let me use these words first.  These are very critical words on how we perceive our lives, and these words are blame, victim, guilt, shame, words just like those.  The relevance of those, those words only apply if you know how something works and with that knowledge, ignore it and then violate the understanding, meaning I know this is how to do it, but I’m going to do it this way.  And, the results are not really what I want.  Then, I’m going to be guilty.

The idea is, if I don’t know how something works and then something goes wrong, how can I be guilty?  I had no idea what the heck was going on.  I drive somebody’s car.  They say Bruce, “Here take my car.”  Let’s say I only know how to drive automatic transmission.  It’s a standard shift car.  They give me the car.  They say, “Go drive the car.”  I drive the car, ruin the clutch.  And then they say, “I blame you for ruining the car.”  And, I have to say, “I didn’t know I was ruining the car.  Nobody told me how to drive the car.  You told me to drive the car without giving me any information.”  How can I be guilty?  Because if I knew how to drive the car, and I knowingly destroyed the clutch, then I’m guilty.

If I don’t know how to drive the car and the clutch gets ruined, how the heck did I know that?  I’m just naïve about this.  I have no idea.  So, put this in the perspective of life: if we had no knowledge of how our life works and we unfortunately sabotage it in the absence of that knowledge, by definition, I cannot use blame, guilt, shame, victim because they only are used if I knew what was going on and with that knowledge, violated it, then that’s true.

So we go over our life and then somebody says well look what happened in your life, and you go back, and you go, ugh, I did that!  Well, wait, if you didn’t have knowledge of how it works, you’re not guilty.  You have to just say, wow, that was a lesson I should learn and then move forward.  It’s very interesting; I wasn’t raised in the Christian tradition, but you know that last thing that Jesus apparently said when he was on the cross?  He said, “Father, forgive them, they know not what they do.”  Well, this applies to everyone in that sense.  If we had no knowledge about how we’re creating our lives and then we end up creating trauma, which is actually been programmed by other people, then we have to forgive ourselves and we have to forgive everyone else because if they didn’t know what they were doing either, then they can’t be blamed.

But, here comes the point, once you learn how this works, then it’s really dependent from this moment into the future that you become responsible for your life.  You are not responsible for the past up to the current moment.  Once you have knowledge, then it’s really incumbent upon you to follow the knowledge because then you’ll be living in harmony.  But go back in the past, anything that happened in the past are lessons for us to learn but not anything to feel bad, guilty, shame about because we had no knowledge and now we’re acquiring knowledge.

Lisa:  Thank you for that.  And, please like I said, everybody unmute *7 and come on with your questions.  We have a couple of minutes left in the call and I’d really like to hear from our callers.

Women and Men: Cultural Programming Differences

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Bruce:  Okay, let’s deal with this one about women trying to deal with partners.  Okay, because that’s a general question.  It has to do with this, you cannot help somebody if they don’t understand what’s going on because if you try to help them and they have no understanding of what the heck we’re talking about, then it appears that you’re coming on trying to change them and they’re trying to figure out what’s going on.

In order for this information that I’m talking about to work, both partners in the relationship have to be totally aware of how this mechanism of conscious and subconscious of how they work and how they acquire information, and therefore if one partner is aware and the other is not, then you’re not having a communication just by definition.  It’s very hard.  Also, let’s give women a little credit for understanding something that men haven’t and that’s sensitivity.  Sensitivity is a very critical part but that turns out to be one of the reasons why we’re here.  We have all these senses – eyes, ears, nose, taste, touch – all these kinds of senses.  This is the wonderful gift of having a human body.

If you’re a spirit you can’t taste chocolate and you can’t see a sunset; that’s a consequence of having a physical body.  So, we came here to experience our sensory perceptions of life, the wonderful love and feelings and all those things.  But here comes the problem, in our civilization: men grow up differently and conform to being boys to become men.  One of the things that women don’t understand, women can grow up and be sensitive all they want.  That’s expected and part of being a woman.  But, when boys grow up sensitivity turns out to be a negative factor in the community of boys for a simple reason: if you’re sensitive then you’re a sissy and you don’t want to be a sissy.

So, what do boys end up proving they can do?  “Hey look, you can hit me and I won’t flinch. You can hit me and I won’t cry.”  So boys in their communal programming are programmed to become less sensitive.  That’s how we become men and we can go out and do the disgusting dirty war stuff, fight and not take it on like women would do.  But then there’s a problem.  Women are programmed to be sensitive.  Men are programmed to be insensitive.  And when that’s understood, then we can work with it.  But, if you don’t understand that then you’re always looking at a man going, “He’s so insensitive!”  It’s like, well yeah, that’s the programming.

So, we have to understand that. And, recognize that this is during the first seven years where especially a child learns how to be a member of society.  If you’re a boy, then you learn that being sensitive is not necessarily supportive of growing up into a man.  This childhood programming is where all of those negative things have been introduced into the subconscious which then shapes the rest of our lives.

Conscious Parenting: “The rule of the day to help us evolve from the mess we’re in.”

That’s why conscious parenting is the rule of the day, a necessity.  To help us evolve from the mess that we’re in now into the future civilization, we have to help children get off the ground with beliefs that encourage and support them to be creative and manifest heaven on earth.  Because there’s a simple conclusion: if I can personally manifest heaven on earth and you can personally manifest heaven on earth, and if we all got programmed where we’re allowed to manifest heaven on earth, by absolute definition, earth becomes heaven.  And this is exactly what it is when you fall in love and you experience that honeymoon.

Again, not a coincidence.  It was a personal creation.  Owning that is very critical because if you own it you go, “I did that and then if I know how I did it, I can do it again!”  And, I go yep, that’s exactly the point.

Lisa:  Again, I’m going to invite our callers to jump right in, but I’m going to keep going because we’re at the end of our hour, so please interrupt me if you have a question.

Reprogramming: “Reading self-help books doesn’t work.”

Caller:  Hi, my name’s Becky and I’m in Boulder, Colorado and I really have enjoyed this call a lot.  I’m interested in Dr. Lipton’s sense of why certain modalities work to reprogram those messages we that we’ve gotten.  I’m an EFT practitioner so I’ve got my advice about that, but I would love to hear his take on how, why, whatever that works as well as EMDR and some of the ones that are just known for doing a better job on reprogramming instead of just kind of temporarily changing things.

Bruce:  Yes.  Thank you for the question.  I hope you’re doing well in Boulder.  I have so many friends there.  Our wishes of love go out and that everybody be well.  In this process a very important question, how or why do some things work and some things don’t work.  I didn’t bring this up and it is a very important point.

So here’s what it is: not only are the two minds separate from each other and have different functions, but they learn in different ways.  This is the critical point.  The conscious mind is the creative mind, which I mentioned, which means what?  It can learn in hundreds of different ways.  You could read a self-help book.  You could go to a lecture.  You can watch a video.  You can even go, “Ah ha, I got it!” and the conscious mind learns.  So, it’s really interesting that you know how many people have read all these self-help books, and all that, and I say, wow, this is really cool.  Or you went to a psychologist and tracked all the events in your life and come to the conclusion and say, “Oh I understand why my life is this way.”  And, I go yeah, you educate the conscious mind very easily.

How many times did you have to say the times table before you could get that?  How many times did you have to say ABCDEFG until you could get to the Z, all the way from one end to the other, and you had to repeat and repeat and repeat?  So here’s the point, conscious mind can learn just from reading the book once, subconscious mind will learn nothing.  So all of a sudden, you start to recognize our conscious minds are so much more aware and our lives do not match that awareness.  And, the answer is because the conscious mind with all that awareness is only operating 5% of the time.

But the issue about that is: think about it, well how many people have read all these books, seen all these lectures, learned all this stuff and their lives still suck?  And it goes, well what happened?  And the fact is this, it’s because the conscious creative mind learns just by having read the book.  The subconscious mind does not learn that way at all.  The subconscious mind’s two primary ways are hypnosis, which is where the brain state was for the first seven years of life and that’s why the downloads are so fast.  And then, after you’re seven, you learn from habituation, repetition, repeating.

How many times did you have to say the times table before you could get that?  How many times did you have to say ABCDEFG until you could get to the Z, all the way from one end to the other, and you had to repeat and repeat and repeat?  So here’s the point, conscious mind can learn just from reading the book once, subconscious mind will learn nothing.  So all of a sudden, you start to recognize our conscious minds are so much more aware and our lives do not match that awareness.  And, the answer is because the conscious mind with all that awareness is only operating 5% of the time.

The subconscious mind requires a process to learn, habituation, or hypnosis, or in some cases something called “super learning” which has to do with new belief changes.  EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) is a very important one.  EFT does what?  I’m in a crux or some problem and EFT says, “Stop!  Stop! Get out of the problem.  Put your head somewhere else.”  It’s called pattern interrupt.

So what happens is this, every time this particular pattern is interrupted, you’re creating a habit.  And, the habit is every time this pattern shows up, stop.  And, once the habit is learned, then the pattern never shows up because it’s already learned the program.  The pattern shows up, stop the pattern.  So as a habit you can change the behavior.  So the different modalities, the belief changer, really reflected in how well they impact subconscious learning not conscious learning.  Conscious learning is easy. It’s subconscious programming.

And, it’s very important that it doesn’t change quickly because nature says these are programs that are important for your life.  Well, if we only had good programs it’d be nice to say that.  The fact is these are programs that you don’t want to readily change.  But if there’s a bad program, you can change it but you must approach it via the way the subconscious mind learns not the way the conscious mind learns.  Otherwise it’s useless.  And, talking to yourself is always the most frustrating thing in the world because, as I mentioned, you are in the conscious mind but the subconscious is like a machine.  So when you’re talking to yourself to change your subconscious and you get frustrated because it doesn’t change, basically reflect on this, who were you talking to?  There’s nobody in there, and that’s why the failure of trying to change the subconscious mind through personal communication is more upsetting.

Becky:  Thank you for that.  I appreciate it.

Bruce’s Guidance for Parents Getting Started: “Don’t take it personally.”

Kindred TextLisa:  Thank you for that question, Becky.  That was one of my last two questions.  What are tools and techniques for getting to that subconscious programming?  And, EFT and EMDR and definitely two very effective ones.  My last question is about, and I know we just have a few minutes and we could go on and on about this, but I want to point to something practical and something empowering for parents when we’re ending our calls with Kindred.

Bruce:  Yes.

Lisa:  I’ve talked to a lot of people, the Cultural Creatives especially are aware that something is going on, something is shifting in ourself and the world; they’re going to be listening to this call, they’re going to be very interested in how do I get on that horse? How do I talk with my partner?  How do we begin to create this foundation?  Is there something that partners could agree to, or an approach that they could contractually say to each other so that they could at least have an approach to acknowledging the programming they’re carrying?  That may be too big of a question.

Bruce:  Yes.  Lisa, let’s just start with this thing because it came up earlier as well about how to communicate with your partner.  The fact is this, until both partners in a relationship understand that they play behaviors that are invisible and that they’re not responsible for them, that I didn’t do this intentionally.  As a matter of fact, it played automatically from the subconscious and I got it from my father, let’s say.  I had no intention behind it.

When you take away the intention behind it, you realize that somebody plays this behavior, you can have a discussion.  Is that really what you want to say or do?  When both parents are aware of this, no argument ensues from this.  An opportunity to change behavior ensues from this.  Then every time you interrupt a pattern, you are again manifesting a habit that will stop that pattern.  So the first thing that’s most important is that both partners in a relationship have to understand that this negative behavior that comes out has nothing to do with you personally, it has to do with your programming.

And, when we take the personal part out of that negative stuff, all of sudden it loses that power that it has where that negative stuff can get very emotionally involved if you think that the person is doing it with some kind of intention.  Then you find out, no they had nothing to do with it.  It was automatic.  If parents behave like this and change their behaviors, and children are there and children are observing this and becoming participants in this entire program as well.

If your child is young you got to remember all of this behavioral stuff actually in the last trimester of pregnancy, the relationship between the parents is chemically transmitted to the child via the mother’s blood which holds the emotional chemistry.  And, so we have to recognize that programming starts in utero.  We have to recognize that we’ve been programmed.  We have to recognize that these programs play not by our volition, not by our intention, not by our desire.  They’re automatic default programs, and therefore take the personal out of that and then look at it from like a third party distance and all of a sudden you can see, I can work with this without bringing the emotion in.  Then we can start changing the pattern.

Kids can change all the time.  So this becomes necessary for us to recognize that programming is always changeable, nothing is hardwired, but you have to do it with conscious awareness.  Otherwise it turns into arguments and misunderstandings that are then translated to children who are the observers of all this.  So, there’s a great amount of empowerment for us as individuals and greater empowerment when as individuals we see how we are also programming our children.  We have to get rid of confrontation and start dealing with dialogue and discussion.  And no blame, guilt, victim, shame.  Throw those out and life all of sudden becomes a heck of a lot easier!

Lisa:  Wow, well that’s it! Don’t take it personally.  That’s one of The Four Agreements.  Thank you so much again for coming on and talking with us today and for covering the vast ground that you did.  I look forward to getting this out with a transcript to our readers.  Thanks so much to all the callers, especially the people who encouraged me to allow them to come onto the call today.  We’re a little shy, that’s fine, and thanks to everyone who sent in your email questions to us.  So, Bruce, tell us where can we find you online before we go.

Bruce:  Kindred readers can go to www.brucelipton.com.  A lot of information, freely downloadable, lots of articles, lots of videos, things like that, brucelipton.com, a source of information.

Lisa:  Okay, great. Thank you so much again for coming and thanks to everyone for joining us.

Bruce:  Thanks again, Lisa and thanks everyone for listening.

 

READ Part 1: Evolution and World Current Events: “Right on Schedule”

  • Crisis Precipitates Evolution: “It is necessary that the world fall apart.”
  • Humanity: The Emerging Superorganism
  • The Honeymoon Effect: When Did You Last Feel It?

READ Part 2: Creating and Uncreating Your Life = Conscious and Unconscious Mind

  • The Unconscious Mind: Nobody’s Home, “It’s simply a record playback device.”
  • Who Am I?  “In the first seven years people tell you who you are and you record in a state of hypnosis.”

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