Make America’s Children Healthy Again, Pt. 3: Togetherness

By Darcia Narvaez, PhD On Jun 24, 2018

We have all heard the common phrase “a family that plays together, stays together.” But is it true? What does it mean?

Recent studies highlight the importance of family togetherness or family cohesion and show that it is a critical and important factor for mental health, not just for children but for adult family members as well. Families that provide environments that are cohesive—close and supportive but not enmeshed—have children with lower rates of both internalizing and externalizing disorders compared to those families that are not close (Coe, Davies, & Sturge-Apple, 2018; Frontini, Canavarro, & Moreira, 2018). There is also evidence that family cohesion buffers and even offsets negative factors that typically predict the onset of psychopathology in children. Essau, Sasagawa, Lewinsohn, & Rohde (2018) followed a large cohort (over 1,000 participants) from adolescence into adulthood and investigated the influence of prenatal and perinatal factors. As expected, the group found that maternal obstetric history (physical health, medical complications, medications) and emotional health (such as maternal anxiety, depression, health problems) predicted both depressive and anxiety disorders in children. However, what is novel about this particular 16-year longitudinal study is that the group took into account the role of family cohesion, maternal and paternal support and how these variables influence the children’s (and then later adults’) health and wellbeing. The group found that family cohesion (family relations, parental support; measured using the Cohesion subscale of the Family Environment Scale) significantly mediated the influence of maternal obstetric history and emotional health. That is, families that practice being together and have social support offset the negative consequences of previous adverse maternal experiences. Family togetherness buffers the effects of these negative factors, safeguarding children against developing psychopathological conditions, both in adolescence and adulthood.

Adults also benefit from spending time together as a family. One major advantage is risk reduction in developing substance abuse problems and addictions, including internet addiction and internet gaming addiction (Cano et al., 2018; Sánchez-Queija, Oliva, Parra, & Camacho, 2016). Adolescents and adults who report caring mothers and cohesive family environments are less likely to become addicted to alcohol and other substances compared to those who did not receive such tender and warm family environments. The World Health Organization recently took note of the growing literature regarding “digital heroin” and announced “gaming disorder” as a new mental health condition. Fortunately, family cohesion and family togetherness serve as a protective factor against these addictions.

So, family togetherness helps individuals deal with life’s stresses and fosters resilience. But what about more than that? Does it increase wellbeing? Does it increase life satisfaction? It is cogent that family togetherness safeguards against many disorders but does spending time together as a family make adults happier? A recent meta-analysis by Hodge and colleagues (2017) demonstrates that increased family togetherness and family leisure activities do, in fact, increase overall satisfaction with family life. Families that together engage in leisure activities that meet their diverse needs—increasing family communication, closeness or stress-relief—report a greater satisfaction with their family. Thus, the research underscores that activities that involve play during free-time increase family happiness, including adult satisfaction. In sum, leisure time and enjoyable social activities, spending time together as a family without distractions, stressors or demands, protects your children from developing later disorders and addictions and also fuels parental happiness.

It All Points Back to the Nest

Family togetherness in terms of playful and fun activities makes sense in light of the Evolved Nest. The nest refers to that caregiving and environment that lines up with children’s maturational needs as they progress through development and it has proven to be effective and adaptive—it has helped social mammals survive for 30 million years! Further, because human brains are dependent upon experience, it is only though “age-related regulating sets of experiences and environmental supports” that promotion of brain construction and neuronal architecture is properly formed (Narvaez, Panksepp, Schore, & Gleason, 2013, p. 15). The nest provides experiences needed to develop a healthy functioning brain and socioemotional system, leading to a smart, well-adjusted, species typical human.

One important variable in the nest is free-play with other children and with alloparents, or other caregivers in addition to the mother. Playing together with your children, engaging in activities as a family that are delightful, creative and fun, foster a sense of belonging and togetherness. And as previously stated, this sense of familial cohesion carries great benefits and serves as a protective factor against many pathological conditions, for both you and your children.

But how can we do this?

Family life is chaotic, hectic and busy. How can leisure and play become a priority? Here are suggestions.

Schedule time within your family routine that is specifically dedicated to leisure, free-play or creative expression. Schedule time for family leisure just like you schedule your gym workout, that critical work call or meeting a pressing deadline. Craft time into your schedule and dedicate it to doing “nothing” with your children.

Unplug from devices, streaming and WiFi and plug into relaxing fun.
Try not to have too many rules to follow. Follow your child’s lead.
Go outside and play tag or wrestle.
Dream up a game together—make your own rules.
Invent or play music together.
Create a play together and perform it.

We’re talking creative, spontaneous social play here, not scheduled sports or club activities run by adults. Don’t think that camps, sports teams, and leagues can replace family play. Rather, take advantage of precious time to relax, enjoy and engage with family. This precious time may serve as the medicine that attenuates or even ameliorates potential disorders within your growing children, safeguarding against later angst and strife. Further, you might find a renewed sense of joy and happiness with your family, delighting in them without the strain of work and school, leading to a refreshed sense of belonging and togetherness.

Some good resources for learning to play together:

Playful Parenting

The Art of Roughhousing

Loose Parts 2: Inspiring Play with Infants and Toddlers

A Child at Heart: Unlocking Your Creativity, Curiosity, and Reason at Every Age and Stage of Life

* Mary Tarsha is a Developmental Psychology and Peace Studies graduate student at the University of Notre Dame

References

Adams, B. L., Stavropoulos, V., Burleigh, T. L., Liew, L. W., Beard, C. L., & Griffiths, M. D. (2018). Internet Gaming Disorder Behaviors in Emergent Adulthood: a Pilot Study Examining the Interplay Between Anxiety and Family Cohesion. International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction, 1-17.

Cano, M. Á., Sánchez, M., Rojas, P., Ramírez-Ortiz, D., Polo, K. L., Romano, E., & De La Rosa, M. (2018). Alcohol Use Severity Among Adult Hispanic Immigrants: Examining the Roles of Family Cohesion, Social Support, and Gender. Substance use & misuse, 53(4), 668-676.

Coe, J. L., Davies, P. T., & Sturge-Apple, M. L. (2018). Family cohesion and enmeshment moderate associations between maternal relationship instability and children’s externalizing problems. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(3), 289.

Essau, C. A., Sasagawa, S., Lewinsohn, P. M., & Rohde, P. (2018). The impact of pre-and perinatal factors on psychopathology in adulthood. Journal of affective disorders, 236, 52-59.

Frontini, R., Canavarro, M. C., & Moreira, H. (2018). Family cohesion and psychopathological symptoms in pediatric obesity: Is there an indirect effect?. Children’s Health Care, 47(1), 101-117.

Hodge, C. J., Duerden, M. D., Layland, E. K., Lacanienta, A., Goates, M. C., & Niu, X. M. (2017). The Association Between Family Leisure and Family Quality of Life: A Meta‐Analysis of Data from Parents and Adolescents. Journal of Family Theory & Review, 9(3), 328-346.

Narvaez, D., Panksepp, J., Schore, A., & Gleason, T. (2013). The value of using an evolutionary framework for gauging children’s well-being. Evolution, early experience and human development: From research to practice and policy, 3-30.

Sánchez-Queija, I., Oliva, A., Parra, Á., & Camacho, C. (2016). Longitudinal analysis of the role of family functioning in substance use. Journal of Child and Family Studies, 25(1), 232-240.