Attached At The Heart

“Applying the wisdom in this book is nothing short of revolutionary for the fulfillment of our birthright of connection and a sense of belonging.” ~ Alanis Morissette

Parents and caregivers will soon have an updated version of a treasured and revolutionary resource to guide them through life with their newborn through age five child. Attached at the Heart by Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker, considered the unofficial guide to attachment caregiving, will be re-released in January 2024 with important updates for our modern age.

“Our book encourages the nurturing care and emotional connections necessary to build strong, resilient brains for optimal mental and emotional health. It’s revolutionary because the information in this book isn’t found in most parenting books. It counters popular parenting advice in order to empower parents to listen to their babies and young children. These early years are critical to the development of trust and empathy, the necessary ingredients for developing a secure attachment,” said co-author Barbara Nicholson, MEd, CEIM.

Attached at the Heart is endorsed by parenting experts, pediatricians and luminary moms such as Alanis Morissette and Mayim Bialik, PhD.

“When we co-founded Attachment Parenting International, now known as Nurturings, nearly 30 years ago, we knew that new parents needed evidence-informed education and practical information about how best to nurture their babies. That’s how Attached at the Heart came about – as a guidebook for new parents to help them lean into their caregiving instincts and set their children up for success,” said co-author Lysa Parker, MS, CFLE, CEIM.

Attached at the Heart has been a key resource for the attachment parenting movement, encouraging parents to trust their instincts and provide responsive care for their children.

“Research has proven that early nurturing experiences transform lives. The Eight Principles of Parenting that are detailed in our book are supported by research and rooted in attachment theory. Attached at the Heart provides science and evidence-backed recommendations to guide new parents in their loving journey,” said Nicholson.

The 3rd edition provides new recommendations regarding infant sleep, how to help children and their parents maintain a secure attachment, and how parents can learn to be more emotionally self-aware in order to teach their children emotional regulation strategies.

Additions to the 3rd Edition of Attached at the Heart include new information on:

• Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) vs. Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs).  Adverse childhood experiences can have a lifelong impact on physical and psychological health. Recent research has shown that positive childhood experiences and relational buffers can mitigate the impact of ACEs.

• Parents are their child’s emotional regulators. Babies cannot regulate intense emotions on their own. Parents must learn to self-regulate so that they can help babies regulate their emotions. This book offers trauma-informed strategies to help parents regulate their own emotions such as “Heart-focused Breathing” and other calming techniques.

• Resilience is the key to adapting to life’s ups and downs. When babies and young children receive nurturing care in the first years of their lives, it builds strong, resilient brains. As they grow older, resilience isn’t about tough love but rather guiding and teaching children strategies to navigate life’s stressors with a safety net of connection.

• The way a baby is born influences the infant’s gut microbiome. Vaginal birth is the primary way that the baby receives gut bacteria from the mother, providing a powerful head start for their immune system. Breastfeeding and skin-to-skin holding are additional ways of “seeding and feeding” the bacteria in the gut known as the microbiome.

• “Breastsleeping” is a protective way of sharing sleep. “Breastsleeping” is a new term coined by infant sleep researchers Dr. James McKenna and Dr. Helen Ball to describe the integral relationship between feeding method and sleep. Learn how mothers can be responsive even while they sleep.

• Gentle alternatives to Sleep Training. Attached at the Heart offers gentle strategies to help babies sleep without resorting to cry-it-out approaches. These tried-and-true methods have helped many exhausted parents get more sleep while still meeting their babies’ needs.

• More nature and less screen time strengthens attachment. Screens have diverted our children from enjoying heart-to-heart connection and the joys of nature. Attached at the Heart offers numerous strategies for reducing screen time and encouraging children to use nature as a classroom for learning, playing and calming.

Attached at the Heart, 3rd Edition continues to be an irreplaceable guide to raising compassionate, resilient children and ultimately making the world a happier, healthier and better place. It is also the textbook for the Attached at the Heart Parenting Program.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS

Barbara Nicholson received a master’s degree in education from Stephen F. Austin State University and a bachelor’s degree in education from University of North Texas, with Learning Disabilities certification from Texas Woman’s University. Professionally, she taught children with learning disabilities and was a La Leche League International breastfeeding support group facilitator for over twenty-five years. She is a Certified Educator of Infant Massage through Infant Massage USA.

In 1994, Barbara cofounded Attachment Parenting International (API), also known as Nurturings.org, a nonprofit parent education organization. She is the co-author of the book Attached at the Heart, Eight Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children, currently in publication for the 3^rd Edition. She is a trainer for the online Attached at the Heart Parenting Program which she developed with co-author, Lysa Parker.

She is the mother of four grown sons and lives with her husband in Nashville, Tennessee.

Lysa (Lisa) Parker received both her bachelor’s in education and her master’s degree in Human Environmental Sciences specializing in Human Development and Family Studies. She earned her designation of Certified Family Life Educator (CFLE) from the National Council on Family Relations in 2004 and was the 2014 president for the Southeast Council on Family Relations. Lysa is also a Certified Educator of Infant Massage (CEIM). In 1994, she co founded Attachment Parenting International (API), now known as Nurturings, a nonprofit parent education & support organization.

Lysa has dedicated her life to improving the care of children and is a recognized authority on parenting. She is the coauthor of the book Attached at the Heart: Eight Parenting Principles for Raising Connected and Compassionate Children (iUniverse 2009, HCI 2013, Praeclarus Press 2023) and the co-developer of a curriculum, Attached at the Heart Parenting Program (AHPP)  based on the book. The first edition of Attached at the Heart won the 2009 Book of the Year Gold award from Foreword Magazine.

Currently, Lysa is a trainer in the Attached at the Heart Parenting Program curriculum. She is the mother of two grown sons and grandmother of four grandchildren and lives Madison, Alabama.

Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker have committed their lives to working with parent-child relationship issues and are the recognized authorities on attachment parenting. They have been featured in national and regional publications including, Newsday, Child Magazine, Pathways Magazine, Mothering Magazine, Natural Life Magazine, Washington Post, Seattle’s Child, Today’s Parents, Westchester Parent, and Charlotte Parent, as well as many international publications. They are frequent guests on national, international, and local radio and TV programs.

ADVANCED PRAISE FOR ATTACHED AT THE HEART:

“Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker are seminal voices in the planetary conversation about how to create secure, enduring and healthy bonds with our children. Bonds that can last an entire lifetime.

Lysa and Barbara have blended both worlds of attachment theory and attachment caregiving into one cohesive message. The pathway to secure attachment in both its simplicity and nuance, is powerfully laid out in this book. Attached at the Heart is filled with knowledge, history, evidence and clarity in terms of what it means to nurture the foundation of secure attachment that we as parents ideally provide for our children. And for those of us who feel like we missed the boat in our past, they provide a map for how to heal and create secure connections in our adulthood. The emotional and psychological muscles this book encourages us to develop is nothing short of the answer to the epidemic of loneliness that we are experiencing in our “modern-day” culture. Knowing that we need relationships to survive, they carve out with great clarity what is asked of us as parents, and ultimately humans, to create lasting and enduring bonds that will last throughout our entire lifetimes. Applying the wisdom in this book is nothing short of revolutionary for the fulfillment of our birthright of connection and a sense of belonging.”

—Alanis Morissette, Grammy-award winning artist

Attached At The Heart is the foundation of the parenting style that most closely aligns with the instincts so many of us innately have as primate caregivers but are encouraged by an increasingly busy, convenience-based culture to shove down. API knew decades ago what the increasing evidence-based research is showing us: how we parent really does matter, and parenting according to the API principles most closely aligns us with how we are wired to parent, how our chil-dren are wired to be loved, and how our hearts know to attach. This book deserves a permanent place on our shelves and in our hearts. For the good of children and families everywhere, thank goodness for Attached At The Heart.

—Mayim Bialik, Ph.D., Neuroscientist, Author, Actress (Blossom, Big Bang Theory, Call Me Kat), Jeopardy! Host

“Attached at the Heart is a gift for all of us looking for practical information on how to strengthen the emotional connections in our families, a powerful and undeniable influence towards achieving a compassionate world.”

—Marian Tompson, CoFounder, La Leche League International 

“In my mind, no two people anywhere on the planet have worked and sacrificed more than Barbara and Lysa to promote healthy and happy attachment relationships between mothers, fathers, and their infants. Their book provides careful and accurate if not cautious recommendations about infants and their caregivers that closely follow more balanced scientific findings—and not simply those that support their own personal philosophies or political agendas—a description accurately applied to more traditional medical authoritative associations. I recommend their book without hesitation and with much enthusiasm.”

—James J. McKenna, PhD,  Director Emeritus,  Mother-Baby Behavioral Sleep Laboratory, University of Notre Dame

“This thought-provoking anthology has been intelligently organized into eight principles that guide readers on a journey of discovery—sometimes reassuring and sometimes a reality check! The authors have managed to make a précis of academic research findings with a light touch and merge them with years of personal experience and of helping count-less parents through Attachment Parenting International (API).”

—Sir Richard Bowlby, Bt, son of Dr. John Bowlby, MD

“This is a wise and nurturing book for parents, helping them nurture their children according to their emotional and developmental needs. A much-needed guide to attuned parenting. I highly recommend it.”

—Harville Hendrix, PhD, coauthor with Helen LaKelly Hunt, Giving the Love That Heals: A Guide for Parents

“Attached at the Heart is the first book to present attachment theory in an accessible and contemporary way. Its eight principles are critical guideposts by which parents can light their way to a healthy relationship with their children.”

—Peggy O’Mara, editor and publisher emerita of Mothering magazine

“Attached at the Heart is a breathtaking wake-up call for parents and children everywhere. With stunning acuity, scientific insight, and a rare passion, authors Barbara Nicholson and Lysa Parker unlock the keys to creating compassionate, connected families.”

—Lu Hanessian, author of acclaimed memoir Let the Baby Drive: Navigating the Road of New Motherhood former NBC anchor/syndicated columnist and parent educator

“Attached at the Heart communicates an enormous spectrum of information that is valuable and inspirational to parents and professionals. It defines attachment parenting in the most comprehensive and profound way. Attached at the Heart is an indispensable primer for any new parent.”

—Isabelle Fox, PhD, Being There: The Benefits of a Stay-at-Home Parent

“Just as the breastfeeding world changed its message from benefits of breastfeeding to the harm of not breastfeeding. Attached at the Heart offers parents insight into the damage done to our children, our families, and our society by normative abusive parenting. Parents will read this book and understand how abusive parenting has been passed down for generations. Parents will get the help they need to break the cycle and create peaceful, loving families.”

—Barbara A. Hotelling, MSN, WHNP-BC, LCCE, CD (DONA), IBCLC Women’s health nurse-practitioner and former chairwoman of the Coalition for Improving Maternity Services (CIMS)